As a business owner, creator, teacher, healer, domestic goddess and aging woman, I seem to be continually engaged with something, or someone, or some deep process.
This is exhausting.
As sensitive, energy-based workers, we focus on giving and giving without a true understanding of what that is costing us, inside. What does this “energy equation” look like?
“my external presence and practice, engaging my family, patients, community and the world” + “ no presence internally for self-needs” = exhaustion. Physically, emotionally, psychologically, energetically.
The problem is, we have no maps, stories, language or permission to be present in our most critical core self, where the refueling occurs.
Think about it. I was raised in a generation where external behaviors trumped any internal needs. Addressing our own calming, regulating needs had to be couched in the appearance of something externally permissible. It got harder and harder to hear or feel ourselves inside, and one day that awareness faded away.
This is where stories came to trump presence. And this is where solutions are pushed to us now. Even the very sacred practices like meditation, designed to ground us and release us at the same time, have been reduced to external behavioral sound-bites. If we only chant our affirmations, close our eyes and recite the mindful rules, then certainly we should be calming down.
Guess what. You can do that without engaging one cell of your internal self. You can get up from your cushion, creating a story of supposed rebalance, while your internal, autonomic processes are still running on “stress-defense.” There has been no internal landing. There has been no rest.
Today, just now, I tried something different, to balance that energy equation. I sat down in my safe space and put on those Profound Neutral meditation mp3’s – the quick ones, six or seven minutes each. And I closed my eyes and listened, and followed, and breathed. And I came back with the word “there.”
There I was. Here I am. Into the wellspring, letting that sacred source fill me, from belly and breath to brainstem, from my body -> up.
Now what does my energy equation look like?
“my profound neutral presence, deep in the river” + “holding space for others” = “truly bringing source and self to service.”
Being deep in the live flow of source within allows me to be present in an enlivened, embodied way. This is the place of our own healing, from which our important connections flow.
We pivot our presence to this internal source, and commit to connect to those who need us.
There’s the equation to work from.
Go on, give it a try. I played with these three tracks:
1. Your First Time:
2. Pivot Your Presence, gently
3. Pivot Your Presence, and get to work!
Let me know how this works for you! Happy Landing!
